On Lance Armstrong, Trail Racing and Inclusion.....

With Lance Armstrong’s recent foray into trail racing (because lets face it, if it was just trailrunning we would not be having this discussion), debate within the MUT (Mountain/Ultra/Trail) community around doping has escalated on the heels of Elisa Desco’s late inclusion into the North Face 50 race. What do we do with those who have been found using banned substances? Do we let them in after they have done their time or do we let them in as many of the events we participate in have no governing body?

I’m far from supporting bring in a governing body like USATF.

Eric Eagan’s recent blog does a good job of putting in place parameters (http://trails2brews.com/2015/12/14/who-exactly-is-welcome/). If we as a community want to be supportive to people, we should include them. However, for being a convicted doper, there should be a scarlet letter worn. So, I fully support allowing a cheater to participate if they do not get an official result and are not eligible for any awards. Where I would go farther is that the individual (in this case, Lance Armstrong) nor any of his/her sponsors could not use anything from the event (images, name) to promote themselves. In this manner, the convicted athlete can get that sense of competition they may need in life and the fellow competitors do not have to worry that they could lose out on something to a person of questionable competitive moral.

A second part of this raises the question, how do we police/test in our own community?

I would like to see networks of race directors get together to pull together resources to do testing. (Maybe races can partner with research/teaching hospitals to get services free or at a reduced cost.) Since the resources are limited, have the testing be rather random. Amongst the group of races, rotate which races test every year. But do not do it in a true rotation. Spin a wheel or pull names out of a hat. Some years have more races test. In other years, less. Do not announce which races are doing testing in that year or even at all. For those of us hoping to be the top of our sport, we should expect to be clean and competing against clean runners. We should not act surprised if we are asked for a sample.

At the end of the day, all of us have a love of running. It is as inclusive a sport as there is and that is a mantle the MUT community should hold up on a pedestal. But we also have a duty to preserve the integrity of racing while keeping true to the roots of inclusion.

Bucks Repeater....

As the fluctuations of 2015 continue, it is not all bad. Occasionally, there has been the upswing surprise. You could say this past weekend was one of them.

Not sure if the world has heard yet, but I repeated at champion at the Bucks County Marathon on Nov 15th that starts and finishes in Washington Crossing, PA. The skinny version is that I won in 2:39:00, slower than last year's record time of 2:31:53. To be honest, the 2:39 was a complete surprise.

Aside from one 20 miler in Sept when I was trying to push myself to be ready for Steamtown (we all know what happened or I should say didn't happen there), I had not done anything over 16 miles. Even then, they had only been the past two weekends prior. (1 @ 15miles, 1 @ 16miles) Part of trying to push was to gauge my ability to line up for Stone Mill 50 on the 14th which was a race I had been looking to. However, on many of my longer runs I've experienced tightness in my groin leading to a slowdown in the latter miles. Both of those long runs had this. What this resulted in was an email to the Stone Mill RD saying I would not be able to run it. I just did not feel I had 50 miles in me without something really bad happening. Call it my spider sense finally telling me to not do something stupid.

(In fact, the few weeks after the Steamtown decision, I have been focusing in on getting back to a good schedule of running right when I wake up. For too much of the year to circumstances, I had been trying to be flexible for sanity's sake. Since I've been pushing myself to get up and out 1st thing, I've been feeling better about many things. Sure, I may be tired but as I do it, my body will get back to where it was as the mind will be sharp.)

So what do I do? Something else potentially stupid. In talking with BCM RD, Pat McCloskey, I told him I was thinking of coming out but was not sure how I would do. He didn't care. I could have finished last. He just wanted me to come out and not be a wuss. Lets call that a swift kick in the pants. The type of kick I did need. I needed to really test myself without pressure. As those who know me, I have a good knack for applying lots of pressure on myself. It can be both good when there is confidence and bad when there is not. Thankfully, Pat's encouragement took the pressure off. Well with the exception of getting Bib #1.

One item, I've neglected to mention was that on the 14th, (day before), I signed up to run a 5K trail race put on by REI in Smithville, NJ. I wasn't going to do that hard just as a shake out run. More or less, it was a nice little run in a park I had not been. Went modest in terms of pace but helped me get loose for the next day.

Sunday morning, I got up and drove to the marathon. Pat mentioned a runner had put down 2:30 as a time. He didn't recall the name but I found it on the list and knew the guy was fully capable. Now where a bit of luck comes in....individual did not show. Hopefully, it was because he had found another race and not due to injury. I warmed up a tad as in to the bathroom and back before getting to the starting line. Before I knew it, we were off. And once we got 10 feet beyond the starting line, I was unchallenged. My first mile was sub 6! I felt comfy and told myself I was going to run comfortable and not look at my time every mile. In fact, I looked at my time at 10K, 10M and HM marks before looking again with 6 to go. Ok, so I did check one more time 3 minutes after the turnaround when I saw second to see how much of a lead I had. (6 minutes for those math majors at home.)

At the 20 mile mark, Pat asked how I felt. I may have uttered a verbal 'sucky' of sorts. I was holding together well but I felt my lack of distance and speed beginning to work against me. My last couple of miles into the finish were slower than 6:30. Amazingly, I held on to my pace pretty well. My second half was only 2 minutes slower than my 1:18:33 on the way out.

I'm very happy to have repeated as champ of this race. It seems like a good way to close out the fall.

May this be a sign that 2016 is going to be a good year. Some races are coming together......

Abbreviating 2015 to leap ahead in 2016.

Three months.

Guess it has been a while since I've taken the time to write up anything here. You could say based on my year, it is a fitting. From a racing and training perspective, there have been patches that have been good and some that have been what we can say is not as good.

As I started writing this entry, my intentions was to do a play by play of those three months. However, with the way I am working to turn the page on the year and already look to 2016, I have opted to pop in for more of a reminder of 'Hey! I'm here!' To do a short summary, ES 100 was a DNF, SRT 74 Mile also a DNF and the SRT 20 Mile resulted in a big oops that added 1 1/2 hours worth of additional mileage. Steamtown Marathon resulted in a DNS decision on race morning. The last result there was made simply because knowing I could run 26.2 miles, my body and mind were not ready to RACE a marathon. Having tried to power through some of those other races (along with the other tough breaks from the year) I already knew what the reality was. Sure the timing was kind of poor and it likely cost me some payday, it was absolutely the right decision.

Not all has been bad. Some of the recent training has been nice. For the last week, it has been shorter (around an hour) runs on trails. Aside from a nasty spill, I took on Sunday it has been sheer joy just losing myself in the winding local trails a stone's throw from my house. Heck, some of the races have been fun. Winning the Alternative Half Marathon was a real joy. Especially since I got to run with my old friend Brian. Furthermore I got to see him PR! A victory at the Old School Trail Run was pretty awesome due to dropping the hammer on the first major downhill. I went all out like a madman moving from third to first with the move.There were a couple of other races but there is no need to rattle all of them off.

Sure more races are on the horizon. A few are scheduled but I'm not certain those are the races I will wind up doing. Why?

Following the decision to DNS at Steamtown, the biggest realization was that 2015 as a racing year aside from Umstead was a wash. Considering how life dealt a heck of a hand this year that definitely impacted my optimal training, packing away the expectations and just running for the rest of the year to establish a good base is the new objective. I'll do some races. I'd like to do some long trail races but at the same time, I want to keep the travel minimal. For the most part that is. I'm going to venture back up to Maine for some training before the calendar turns. Might even try another attempt up Mt Washington as long as it is not another day full of consistent 80 mile per hour wind.

All in all, from here on out it is about enjoyment. Being specific and sticking to a training plan is for the leap year. Right now, no need to take that leap right now. It is 2015, patience will shepard 2016 as it is meant to be.

Ebb & Flow: Progession and Setbacks

Last year, in the midst of a very good year, I felt writing this blog was smooth. However, 2015 for the most part has been very different. It has been a struggle which is a good reflection of the running year in itself.

Aside from Umstead at the end of March, it has been incredibly tough going. And even that was considering I lost a month due to bronchitis in the winter. House hunting/buying/moving has consumed a large chunk of the last three months of focus. This has taken its toll and manifested in my conditioning (both mental and physical) and training. I've done a lot of running still but have had pockets where I had to completely scale back due to the stress causing anxiety that becomes exacerbated during running. Only for short spells it seems I have had good running periods. Around a month ago, I had a nice little period of good running as evidenced by how I felt at the Wissahickon Trail Classic. Since then, I did a few more races and learned I'm not out of the rut. Chasin for Chaflin resulted in a 3rd place finish that just felt sluggish. My climbing legs were gone despite having felt good about my ability coming in. Then, I had some good running up in Maine and NH finished off with a 50K upon my return in NJ.

I felt so good, I signed up for the Eastern States 100. Since then, I've been doing 80 miles weeks with the intention of putting one in this week as well and move into a taper being that ES is a month out. However, the past 5 days have been incredibly tough so this week might end up short. We have finally relocated into our new home. That has meant a lot of physical expenditure. I'm feeling it. Today, on a run-commute that normally is not much of a problem, I had to walk a few short spells. My body was telling me it was working too hard to manage all of its systems. It feels like a bad rut. Hopefully, it is short. I want to really get back to enjoying running. Being in a new home is wonderful but mentally and physically, I need to move beyond life being about the home process. It has now taken up more than 3 months of my year and cost me more than people realize. Not from a financial standpoint but from a standpoint of health which running plays an integral part of.

Let's put it this way, I NEED to move on. Sacrifice time is over.

Climbing Back - It's a Process

If you have been following lately, you might have figured I hit a bottoming out point around 3 weeks ago.

As a result, I made the decision a few weeks back to not race the recent Cayuga Trails 50. It was a race I was deeply looking forward to but I could not put myself in a situation that was likely to push me beyond the physical and mental capacities of the moment. In other words, it would have been too stressful.

So, I've been doing a little running, My mileage is maybe 30 a week. Basically, I am doing whatever I feel comfortable. As you may remember, I bottomed out by a lot of stress so for my health I scaled back massively. The month of May ended up being the lowest mileage month in over two years. Right now, June is on target to be less but that is okay by me. Why?

Well, the limited running I have been doing has been extremely enjoyable. You could say I stopped training so I can just go running. I've not been worried about mileage or pace. I've mainly been on trails. I'd say 90% of the distance has been on trail. Last week, here in the Philadelphia area, it got a little Northwestern with moisture and I had some fantastic runs. The type of runs, I didn't want to end but since they have been in the morning, did have to come home so I could go to work.

This past Sunday I did an hour on the trails. On the day before, I did a 10K trail race (Wissahickon Trail Classic) and took 4th. Considering everything, it felt like a really good performance. Three young studs took it out from the gun and all finished within a 30 second span. I was 2 minutes behind 3rd. Still despite things, I managed my fastest time in the event. Early on, I was outside the top 10 so I ran smart too. Made me really happy with my effort. I enjoyed it, especially since I decided the morning of to do it. As I am running when I feel like it is not stressful and will be fun, I have to wait until the last minute to see how I feel and that is fine. Call it being footloose and fancy free.

Basically, right now, taking it one day at a time is serving me well. Since I am doing some running, I am not losing too much so as I progress I'll be just fine fitness wise.

With my upcoming trip to Maine, I am looking forward to some long slow stuff on mountainous trails.

Dealing with the Runner's High...

Yesterday’s entry was initially meant to be a stand-alone entry, however, during the course of some reflection after having written it, I think there is another element as a runner, I want to discuss: Addiction.

Some people are wired to have addictive personalities. In other words, for those programmed that way we become addicts in one way or another. Addictions can take many forms and for those suffering from seriously destructive ones, it is a constant struggle. (As a pop cultural aside, I highly recommend Elementary on CBS as Sherlock Holmes struggle with addiction is a present theme throughout the show. This past season dealt with it in some intense ways.)

You would think as a straight-edge vegetarian, I would be lacking in addictions. That is not the case, as I too have addictions. Mine might not necessarily be as destructive. (Lets face it all addictions are destructive on some level based on the nature of negative consequences.) For me, one of the addictions, I struggle with is an addiction to soda. Growing up in a household that was only slightly above living paycheck to paycheck, we had a lot of the ‘nutrition’ available you would expect in that type of home. This included lots of soda. In and of itself, soda is not necessarily a bad thing. Other factors can influence the outcome….

My particular home was far from what one would call ideal.  Yes, we had cable. But I had a 6 x 7 room where my mattress was just directly on the floor (it made my space roomier). I did not get a computer until the fall of 1996 and it was a used 286. It did serve its purpose of being a word processor. (Before then, I had to use an old typewriter that became increasingly difficult to get ribbon for.) I mention all of this because we hear how poor households are likely places to have poor dietary habits and medical issues as a result. Despite where I am in life, you could say I am proof.

All of the content in the previous paragraph were components in a very stressful household. We made the best of things and I got a lot from my formative years. Yet, it was an environment that was not good for me. Once in 6^th grade, I had a meltdown in the hallway regarding a group math assignment. My perception of it included feeling like I had to do extra work. Well you could imagine, in stressful environments, we search for comfort. Since soda felt like a real treat, it created a perfect avenue for addiction by way of a coping mechanism. That is just exactly what it became. Greater stress = more soda. When Code Red Mountain Dew came out…..at one point, I was downing 2 liters a day. I’ve struggled a lot with keeping this addiction in check. 6 years back, I decided to cut out coffee and soda at the same time. Doing both was helpful for a good while. I still haven’t had coffee since the day I stopped. However, soda came back after a few years. I do not drink nearly as much as I used to but recently I realized a huge correlation of stress with soda (and energy drink) consumption. Since then, I have begun to really push the urge to have a soda down. One of the ways I have done this is by having a tea in the morning instead of a large cold sugary drink. And I am not a fan of tea unless it is iced. My day began to have an association of starting with an energy drink. So in order to battle one addiction, I am replacing it with another routine.

What does this have to do at all with running? Well, running was another outlet to combat stress through high school. Having success and joy through running created another avenue to be addicted as a result of acting as a coping mechanism. Since running is known to help reduce stress this is great for most people. For me, this was also my real means of social interaction at the time. And if it was not for my stepdad, I would have never had this avenue. (Running has been very good to me.) So for addictive personalities, the sensation of happiness gets tied to a specific set of parameters.

So while running has given me goals to strive for those goals themselves have become a sensation to aim for. This is both constructive and destructive in addicts. To play out the statement “You are only as good as your last race”, if that race is not good, I want to immediately go find that good sensation. And even if it is good, I want to feel it again. I don’t think this is far off for many people for who running is an escape whether it is competitively or recreationally.

To tie this all into yesterday’s entry, while knowing I should not be running anything major that may act as a stressor, I want to get out and race. And that is because the addict in me says feeling that high will erase that stress. 

Inconsistency 2015: Anxiety, Stress, Change and Stubborness Amongst the Miles

So the title of this post is a bit long winded much like this might be....strap yourself in as we delve into the mind of a thickheaded numb-skull. (If you haven't guessed, who that last part refers to, it is this guy. :::points to self despite you not being able to see it:::)

Since Umstead I have not written here with the exception of one entry that I have since deleted. It served its personal purpose but I felt it was not appropriate for sharing. Some of the same themes will be mentioned here so you will not have missed anything.

If you have been following my escapades this year, you know it has been a completely mixed back of results and training. Prior to Umstead, I had a second place at Phunt followed by a DNF at Batona followed by a month of bronchitis setting up a wonderful DNF at Black Canyon. I topped off that series with an epic 3rd place at Ugly Mudder losing in the last 100 meters because I lost some footing after having broke trail for the majority of the race. Not long after, I started righting the ship getting in weeks of good training and having some positive small local 5K results in the lead up to Umstead. 

Since Umstead, I've been running but doing it like a blockhead. Race wise, I've won two 10K's and the Mt Penn Mudfest 15K. However, the past two ultras have resulted in another pair of DNF's at Rock the Ridge and Dirty German Endurance Fest (both while being signed up for the 50M distance.) With Rock the Ridge, piriformis issues led to a drop at mile 23-ish. While feeling comfortable about the decision as a couple years back, I had to stop running for about a month as I pushed through a similar issue until I could not walk without a limp. Didn't want to go there this time. On the downside, it was a great course and for the most part of the day, the temps were perfect. I mention this because just yesterday at Dirty German, I dropped out after 34 miles. Primarily, the heat and my head did me in. DG is a 3 loop course run in Philadelphia's Pennypack Park. Most of the course is shaded which is a plus. However, with temps starting at 70 moving into the 80's with humidity near 100%, it made it a tough day. On my first lap, I did my best to run smoothly. I felt I was not overdoing it. I was even taking it easy on the short climbs by hiking them. However, really early into my second loop, I felt like I was redlining to keep any sort of pace. Going into such a spot so soon, mentally broke me with physically dismantled me...

For about two months now, my stress has been high due to things at work and home. Since the things are connected they have been compounding each other. Think of it as exponentially increasing stress. Factor in potential change and a tidalwave might as well hit. Each of us have our pluses and minuses. One of my minuses is reaction to change even small things like moved furniture and compounding stress. I've gotten better over the past 7 years with change. Stress is a different story. I am a compartmentalizer if you will. As a highly analytic person, I keep balance by placing each thing in tidy little boxes. Disruptions to the organization can be shocks to the system. Furthermore, being more introverted enhances the effects. It's self-analytical scrambling to put the pieces back. Now, this may make me sound rather frail. And in some ways when the weight becomes too much I am. But one of my positives is my capacity to endure. I do think that has to be a requirement to be an ultrarunner or any type of runner for that matter. 

Normally, the mere act of running would help reduce the stress. What makes this current stretch different is that my stress levels are the highest they have been since mid 2004. While running usually benefits, the timing, I believe has left me behind the eight-ball. The wise thing to have done after Umstead would be to take it easy on myself running. Yet, the presence of stress put me in a position that I needed to run. But the runs were not helping. All I would think about was the stress. Eventually, I would periodically experience some symptoms of anxiety during my runs in addition to 'daily-life'. 

This came to a head yesterday at Dirty German.....once I started having trouble, my inner-tyrant, took hold as I started to think about the non-running stressors. This brought me down enough mentally that it had a physical impact. Couple that with the heat and I was in trouble. What ended up happening was not pretty. I run my second lap at a pace 3 minutes slower per mile. I think it also was my worst 50K split. I began to worry about my ability to finish the race where I was mentally. As a result, I pulled the plug.

Now, the act of taking another DNF smarts too because it feeds a negativity the inner-tyrant can grab hold to. So right now, I have to resist the urge to cave to its whispering.

Upon arriving home from the venue, yesterday, I took a look at why I am having these results and it boils down to sheer stubborness. By putting my nose to the grindstone thinking running would magically make all of my stress manageable, I set myself up for failure. Or I should say a harsh lesson. As a result, I've come to a conclusion that right now, I need to adjust my running to alleviate stress. And that actually means reduce the running intensity at the moment. The biggest aspect of my schedule is knowing that I should not run Cayuga Trails 50 despite being signed up. (Viaduct is also possibly out.) It is a tough realization since I had to drop from injury last year. However, I do feel I could be on the border of Overtraining Syndrome if I keep going as how I have been. So my training for at least a few weeks is going to be next to nothing. Or simply when I feel like it will be enjoyable. This may mean small races or might mean no racing at all.

Take the step back to move forward.....

(And for the record, this entry is not about me making excuses but coming to a realization. I want to add that at the end of the day, I'm where I am in this because I made the decisions that led to this.)