...when this is only the second blog entry for 2019 in September.
Back at my last entry I was coming off a DNF at Traprock due to a stupid toe injury. Between mid-April and the end of June, I was able to get some sense of momentum winning some races including the Lost Turkey Trail 50K. In fact, that was my last decent race. I have had two races since 6/29. One was the Race Street Run in Jim Thorpe that I was 5th and ran 12 minutes slower (in a 15K) than my winning time two years ago. Yesterday was even rougher...a DNF in a marathon.
We can say that last result sums up the year well. I was honored to toe the starting line for Chasing the Unicorn to attempt a Boston Qualifier before the cutoff. Going into the year, one of my goals was to run a BQ time so I could run it in my first year as a masters. In the past, I would be able to get in BQ times during training runs. Nothing close to it here. I started off okay but the back of my knees felt tight. It was not something I was able to shake off and I had no real turnover. My splits were going in the wrong direction. At the half marathon mark, I shut it down as I was behind pace. Does it sting? Absolutely.
However, I cannot say it is surprising given the past twelve months.
In that time, I...
Had my bike stolen
Got in a car accident driving a rental in California
Went from administrating one IT system to three
Fell off a ladder in the woods
Went on a second medication for anxiety
I'm sure there are other things in there but I'm trying to take it all in stride. Even doing that I know things are a little off balance.
And all of it breeds a feeling of being worn down and tired. I'm almost 40 and have been running for 25 years so at some point change is coming. Right now, it is not on my terms.
One might even say, I'm not as excited running wise. Historically, I have always had a number of races lined up as a 'schedule' of sorts that I could look at as helping to have goals. Over time many of the events I have loved have ended. It has become harder to find events to replace the lost ones. I'd say this has led to a level of erosion of enjoyment when it comes to my running. You could probably sum everything up in this paragraph. The more I have thought about it this is what has changed the most with my running. Those events have been what makes it easier to get out in the morning to do runs in a place that I have run hundreds if not thousands of times now. Couple that with not having been able to get away for a little mini vacation to mix up my running to give me a little boost further anchors me in place.
As my friend Mary said, I am "more than just a runner" so it is not like my life is over. I am still currently running some. Been reading lots of books which I would say my highlight thus far might just be Firestorm by Edward Struzik.
Right now, I will re-adjust and find what works best. If that is less mileage but enjoyment so be it. I don't see the goal being less mileage. I do need some recharge and jump start but the ground is shifting at the moment.
Monday, September 9, 2019
Thursday, April 18, 2019
April finally brings a post!
Wish I could say things have been all sunshine and rainbows but it is not that type of year on the running front.
As a result this is going to be as quick and dirty as inadvertently jumping into toxic sludge. (Think of it as the Cuyahoga River.)
To polish off 2018, Santa (meaning our savings) brought the home a nice new shiny NordicTrack treadmill. Commercial style of course. Primarily, this was to help with a bit of motivation on days I wasn't motivated to run outside or due to time constraints. I started off 2019 good using the treadmill and some outdoor runs to get ready for a 50K down in Delaware in January. HOWEVER, I got hit with another bout of Bronchitis. So unwanted rest there. I was bummed because I was looking to it as part of a tune up to Lone Star 100K.
Complicating matters around Lone Star, I had to go out to Irvine, California for a week. So I had to fly into El Paso, Texas from Philly, then go to Irvine. While flying was all smooth, the timing of it all stressed me out to where I was not ready to tackle hours racing in Franklin Mountains. On the bright side, I did manage to run a 5K in Las Cruces, NM. Sadly, I did not have road racers with me and my time was ugly at 18:05 for 2nd. Having done a 5K did allow me to time to go hiking so I did enjoy that. (Plus, I went to the movies and saw Cold Pursuit. Not the best of Liam Neeson films. You want the best go watch The Grey.)
Being in California, I was excited for some new trails. In fact, I picked my lodging based on the proximity to trails. Yet, with my luck, nearly all were closed due to recent weather. I did manage to get on some but not with the extent I want. It also impacted a 5 mile trail race I had considered running. It changed into a road race so I opted for other activities. (Like visit the Nixon Library and the Fullerton Arboretum.)
Not much between that span in February until late March when I had the Phillies 5K. It was great to do with my neighbors. Not being at the top of my game was evident here as I ran 17:34 for 6th. Last time I did the race I was a minute faster for 2nd. Positively, I was faster than back in Las Cruces.
Just a few weeks ago, I ran an okay 17:15 for a 1st in a 5K over at Rutgers-Camden. I was happy with it because the course was changed from the past and it was long and had tighter turns. (The kind that required a throttle up and down of pace.) Coming off this, I felt fairly good going into last weekend's race in Connecticut, Traprock 50K. I'd done the race previously so I knew to expect some real challenging terrain. Also, I opted to drive up after the business day on Thursday and work remote on Friday. A 4 hour drive can be stressful for me in a case like this. So by driving up and staying an extra night, I was working to keep anxiety and stress down. In this regard, I think I did the job as I got up and made the race start fine.
HOWEVER!
The evening before Traprock, I was walking across the hotel room and injured myself in one of the most absurd manners. What happened was I was lifting my right foot but my big toe decided to 'velcro' itself to the floor so as the foot moved, the toe bent and jammed back into the rest of the foot. It hurt, A LOT! It felt worse then stubbing my toe. Guess, I would compare it with the initial ouch of a bad ankle sprain. Stupid toe region hurt even in my sleep. Still, I stepped to the line doing my best to not think about it.
Immediately as the race started, I did my best to run like usual but was constantly thinking about my foot. Doing mental system checks. I was managing for a good while on the first of three loops until I no longer wasn't. Basically, I had to stop running and walk due to the pounding. When I reached that point, I knew my day was done. I tried to initially switch into a different pair of shoes before throwing in the towel but they would not have done the trick. Sad, to be honest, as I thought my foot placement in the rocky sections was spot on. Still my main worry was a stress fracture or worse. And I had a 4 hour drive home with the same foot as my driving foot!
Anyways, that brings me to the past few days....
Been wearing shoes where the sole doesn't mend so I'm not bending my right foot much. Been able to walk. Have opted to not run right now and admit, it is making me a tad stir crazy. Considering, the top of my foot still hurts with pressure, it is not without the realm of reason that I didn't do something to my first metatarsal. Just hoping a week or two of down time in conjunction with footwear that won't aggravate things is the proper remedy.
As a result this is going to be as quick and dirty as inadvertently jumping into toxic sludge. (Think of it as the Cuyahoga River.)
To polish off 2018, Santa (meaning our savings) brought the home a nice new shiny NordicTrack treadmill. Commercial style of course. Primarily, this was to help with a bit of motivation on days I wasn't motivated to run outside or due to time constraints. I started off 2019 good using the treadmill and some outdoor runs to get ready for a 50K down in Delaware in January. HOWEVER, I got hit with another bout of Bronchitis. So unwanted rest there. I was bummed because I was looking to it as part of a tune up to Lone Star 100K.
Complicating matters around Lone Star, I had to go out to Irvine, California for a week. So I had to fly into El Paso, Texas from Philly, then go to Irvine. While flying was all smooth, the timing of it all stressed me out to where I was not ready to tackle hours racing in Franklin Mountains. On the bright side, I did manage to run a 5K in Las Cruces, NM. Sadly, I did not have road racers with me and my time was ugly at 18:05 for 2nd. Having done a 5K did allow me to time to go hiking so I did enjoy that. (Plus, I went to the movies and saw Cold Pursuit. Not the best of Liam Neeson films. You want the best go watch The Grey.)
Being in California, I was excited for some new trails. In fact, I picked my lodging based on the proximity to trails. Yet, with my luck, nearly all were closed due to recent weather. I did manage to get on some but not with the extent I want. It also impacted a 5 mile trail race I had considered running. It changed into a road race so I opted for other activities. (Like visit the Nixon Library and the Fullerton Arboretum.)
Not much between that span in February until late March when I had the Phillies 5K. It was great to do with my neighbors. Not being at the top of my game was evident here as I ran 17:34 for 6th. Last time I did the race I was a minute faster for 2nd. Positively, I was faster than back in Las Cruces.
Just a few weeks ago, I ran an okay 17:15 for a 1st in a 5K over at Rutgers-Camden. I was happy with it because the course was changed from the past and it was long and had tighter turns. (The kind that required a throttle up and down of pace.) Coming off this, I felt fairly good going into last weekend's race in Connecticut, Traprock 50K. I'd done the race previously so I knew to expect some real challenging terrain. Also, I opted to drive up after the business day on Thursday and work remote on Friday. A 4 hour drive can be stressful for me in a case like this. So by driving up and staying an extra night, I was working to keep anxiety and stress down. In this regard, I think I did the job as I got up and made the race start fine.
HOWEVER!
The evening before Traprock, I was walking across the hotel room and injured myself in one of the most absurd manners. What happened was I was lifting my right foot but my big toe decided to 'velcro' itself to the floor so as the foot moved, the toe bent and jammed back into the rest of the foot. It hurt, A LOT! It felt worse then stubbing my toe. Guess, I would compare it with the initial ouch of a bad ankle sprain. Stupid toe region hurt even in my sleep. Still, I stepped to the line doing my best to not think about it.
Immediately as the race started, I did my best to run like usual but was constantly thinking about my foot. Doing mental system checks. I was managing for a good while on the first of three loops until I no longer wasn't. Basically, I had to stop running and walk due to the pounding. When I reached that point, I knew my day was done. I tried to initially switch into a different pair of shoes before throwing in the towel but they would not have done the trick. Sad, to be honest, as I thought my foot placement in the rocky sections was spot on. Still my main worry was a stress fracture or worse. And I had a 4 hour drive home with the same foot as my driving foot!
Anyways, that brings me to the past few days....
Been wearing shoes where the sole doesn't mend so I'm not bending my right foot much. Been able to walk. Have opted to not run right now and admit, it is making me a tad stir crazy. Considering, the top of my foot still hurts with pressure, it is not without the realm of reason that I didn't do something to my first metatarsal. Just hoping a week or two of down time in conjunction with footwear that won't aggravate things is the proper remedy.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Talk about a drop off.....
Ok, so I have been REALLY bad this year blogging. Maybe I should do transcription of my thoughts via plug in (If it was only possible.)
Certainly thought I would have written something in August or September following by European race debut. However, work muscled its was in to dominate everything since the time I got back from my Scottish vacation in mid-August. In fact, things got so bad that I took 3 whole weeks off in the middle of September. Yes, right in the middle of prime fall training and racing, I lacked the mental and physical bandwidth to run.
Consider also this, as I have anxiety and am on medication to manage it, yet, it looks like my dosage will need to be adjusted up. (Went on it finally. Probably should have addressed it YEARS ago.) Job duties are increasing and that is all fine and good but the logistical aspects and time demands are multiplying. I've worked some weekend time and in September I was putting in over 10 hours of overtime a week on average. So yes, the impacts to my running have been quite substantive in 2018. To end the year, I wound up staying really close to home doing 5ks. Not nearly as quick as I hoped but still fairly decent performances. The lack of stress doing that distance versus a marathon or ultra probably helped me manage to do them. In fact, work and/or anxiety knocked out 4 races I had been signed up for....Breakneck, Georgia Jewel, Bucks County Marathon (where I would have been attempting to win 5 in a row) and just this past weekend, Ancient Oaks (which worked out well because I went to Disney a day earlier and learned running Ancient Oaks would not have made Disney fun at all the day after).
Not all was bad. I managed to do the 50K distance at Batona (that Econolodge was certainly overpriced). And even more amazingly, I did an ultra in Ohio (Bigfoot) while out there for a week of work training (which itself brought on a lot of stress.)
I did also manage to run a nighttime 3 hour in Georgia on a quick getaway where I did a 5K in the morning. That trip also had lots of Waffle House. (One sitting was between finishing the 5K and the awards) Yum!
Probably would say the highlight of the year was racing on the West Highland Way in the Devil o the Highlands race. Sure, I took 2nd place but at one point I was in 7th. I moved up 5 places in the last 15 miles. I cut a 16 mile lead down to 8 in that span with 7 of that in the last 7 miles. Plus, it was the most beautiful landscape.
We'll see what 2019 holds but I'm going to take it as it comes. There are races I want to do but clearly with my changing landscape, I need to be a little fluid. If that means smaller events where I can show up day of....so be it. May the new year bring all the readers here great success in what they wise to achieve in whatever avenue of life.
Certainly thought I would have written something in August or September following by European race debut. However, work muscled its was in to dominate everything since the time I got back from my Scottish vacation in mid-August. In fact, things got so bad that I took 3 whole weeks off in the middle of September. Yes, right in the middle of prime fall training and racing, I lacked the mental and physical bandwidth to run.
Consider also this, as I have anxiety and am on medication to manage it, yet, it looks like my dosage will need to be adjusted up. (Went on it finally. Probably should have addressed it YEARS ago.) Job duties are increasing and that is all fine and good but the logistical aspects and time demands are multiplying. I've worked some weekend time and in September I was putting in over 10 hours of overtime a week on average. So yes, the impacts to my running have been quite substantive in 2018. To end the year, I wound up staying really close to home doing 5ks. Not nearly as quick as I hoped but still fairly decent performances. The lack of stress doing that distance versus a marathon or ultra probably helped me manage to do them. In fact, work and/or anxiety knocked out 4 races I had been signed up for....Breakneck, Georgia Jewel, Bucks County Marathon (where I would have been attempting to win 5 in a row) and just this past weekend, Ancient Oaks (which worked out well because I went to Disney a day earlier and learned running Ancient Oaks would not have made Disney fun at all the day after).
Not all was bad. I managed to do the 50K distance at Batona (that Econolodge was certainly overpriced). And even more amazingly, I did an ultra in Ohio (Bigfoot) while out there for a week of work training (which itself brought on a lot of stress.)
I did also manage to run a nighttime 3 hour in Georgia on a quick getaway where I did a 5K in the morning. That trip also had lots of Waffle House. (One sitting was between finishing the 5K and the awards) Yum!
Probably would say the highlight of the year was racing on the West Highland Way in the Devil o the Highlands race. Sure, I took 2nd place but at one point I was in 7th. I moved up 5 places in the last 15 miles. I cut a 16 mile lead down to 8 in that span with 7 of that in the last 7 miles. Plus, it was the most beautiful landscape.
We'll see what 2019 holds but I'm going to take it as it comes. There are races I want to do but clearly with my changing landscape, I need to be a little fluid. If that means smaller events where I can show up day of....so be it. May the new year bring all the readers here great success in what they wise to achieve in whatever avenue of life.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Oh look...it's the first post of 2018
In May. Nearly 5 months since my last entry. I've consciously made a decision to not blog so much. A number of factors played into this including but not limited to:
Not having a ton of notable races.
Getting sick with Bronchitis in January that added a number of unexpected weeks off.
Working on my anxiety.
Honestly, while I will continue to post entries to here, the intended frequency of the past will not be the same. Part of this is that one of my main drivers in creating this blog was in hopes of building some following or having it as a vehicle to getting and maintaining sponsors. For a few years I'd say there was a minor level of success with a shoe partnership (which ended in Dec 2016). However, I feel trying to produce results and content to entice sponsorship created a burden subconsciously that took away from my running. I really felt like I wanted/needed sponsorship to garner some justification for the hard work and effort in my ultrarunning. In working on my anxiety, I've made some determinations that I was no longer going to worry about contacting companies that might be good for a partnership of runner and brand. Also, I've adjusted to embrace a lighter travel schedule. Meaning my short races are REALLY close to home and try to minimize driving to other longer events. In turn this can help with recovery and having more beyond running.
Part of this could be seen as slowing life down a little. I find myself watching less TV and reading a lot more. Last year, I had a list of 27 books that I read. This year I've finished 20. Even had a couple of novels in there. (Most of the content is non-fiction.) Now, if I could find a way to feel comfy reading in bed. For some reason that is not as conducive.
Oddly, as part the shift, I've been listening to a lot more synthwave acts like Le Cassette, LeBrock and The Rain Within. Maybe it is because the metal that has come out this year is a whole lot of meh. But we did get a new Andrew WK rock album that has two of my favorite inspiring songs of the year in Ever Again and Music is Worth Living For.
While you're here, I reckon I should mention some running material.
On April 29th, after years of chasing, I broke 8 hours in a 100K. A 31 minute PR at Jack Bristol Lake Waramaug 100K in 7:30:51. I'm really proud of that time. Certainly, will tell you that 62 miles on the road is tough. I ached in ways I hadn't before. I took a couple of days off and will ease back into things for the next few days before my next challenges. If the mood hits, I might blog about 'em. I can say I look forward to more running and racing on trails in the year.
Don't take this as I don't like talking about running because I most certainly do but talking up what I have done is actually not the most natural thing for me. (I'd like to this those who have met me know this a little. I'm just another person.) But since I'm not going to chase sponsorship anymore (that is not to say I wouldn't love to be sponsored) I can cut out some of that stress.
More likely, I'll post notable results on my athlete FB page (which you might have gotten the link to this piece from.)
Well folks....that's all for now. See you at the races....
Not having a ton of notable races.
Getting sick with Bronchitis in January that added a number of unexpected weeks off.
Working on my anxiety.
Honestly, while I will continue to post entries to here, the intended frequency of the past will not be the same. Part of this is that one of my main drivers in creating this blog was in hopes of building some following or having it as a vehicle to getting and maintaining sponsors. For a few years I'd say there was a minor level of success with a shoe partnership (which ended in Dec 2016). However, I feel trying to produce results and content to entice sponsorship created a burden subconsciously that took away from my running. I really felt like I wanted/needed sponsorship to garner some justification for the hard work and effort in my ultrarunning. In working on my anxiety, I've made some determinations that I was no longer going to worry about contacting companies that might be good for a partnership of runner and brand. Also, I've adjusted to embrace a lighter travel schedule. Meaning my short races are REALLY close to home and try to minimize driving to other longer events. In turn this can help with recovery and having more beyond running.
Part of this could be seen as slowing life down a little. I find myself watching less TV and reading a lot more. Last year, I had a list of 27 books that I read. This year I've finished 20. Even had a couple of novels in there. (Most of the content is non-fiction.) Now, if I could find a way to feel comfy reading in bed. For some reason that is not as conducive.
Oddly, as part the shift, I've been listening to a lot more synthwave acts like Le Cassette, LeBrock and The Rain Within. Maybe it is because the metal that has come out this year is a whole lot of meh. But we did get a new Andrew WK rock album that has two of my favorite inspiring songs of the year in Ever Again and Music is Worth Living For.
While you're here, I reckon I should mention some running material.
On April 29th, after years of chasing, I broke 8 hours in a 100K. A 31 minute PR at Jack Bristol Lake Waramaug 100K in 7:30:51. I'm really proud of that time. Certainly, will tell you that 62 miles on the road is tough. I ached in ways I hadn't before. I took a couple of days off and will ease back into things for the next few days before my next challenges. If the mood hits, I might blog about 'em. I can say I look forward to more running and racing on trails in the year.
Don't take this as I don't like talking about running because I most certainly do but talking up what I have done is actually not the most natural thing for me. (I'd like to this those who have met me know this a little. I'm just another person.) But since I'm not going to chase sponsorship anymore (that is not to say I wouldn't love to be sponsored) I can cut out some of that stress.
More likely, I'll post notable results on my athlete FB page (which you might have gotten the link to this piece from.)
Well folks....that's all for now. See you at the races....
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Gorge Gambler & 2017 Wrap-up
As 2017 is coming to a close, it would appear that my blogging has suffered. For the 1st half of the year, I managed 8 posts and this will make only my 4th in the past 6 months. And in fact, only my second in the past 4. In looking at those numbers and timing, I see life events having a substantial impact on how I see myself and feel motivation-ally. As someone who values stability, the company I work for having been acquired in July really has set off a chain of uncertainty in usually very grounded area of my life. And while I have some other personal matters that fall into the same category, it all has gotten to be a bit much to handle at times. To hear Peg comment that I didn't seem like I was enjoying running should tell you enough.
Still, many times, I managed to win the hard battle to get out of bed in the morning in order to go into the office or even out the door for miles. And when I say battle, I mean it. You've heard me talk of anxiety and stress in my postings before so it really should not come as a surprise. Let me say, mental health really makes a big deal in our lives as well as the events during our developmental years that shape the environment of that mental health.
While all of that is important, that is not my intended focus on this 'year-closing' entry, so allow me to change gears....
Going into 2017, one of my goals was to hit a sub 8 hour 100K. For a number of years, I have managed to hit at least one PR a year. Last year was an incredible 50 mile PR at Brazos Bend. So it seemed fair to target the 100K distance for 2018. Early in the year, I tried to go for it at Iron Horse in Florida where I DNF'd due to knee issues. I opted to hit the roads in CT at Lake Waramaug (only to have a series of events derail even getting to the race). (Twisted Branch happened but that was never a part of the 100K PR chase. Not on that course.) Next came plans for Bear Chase in Colorado in late September that due to financial circumstances, I opted to not do. This lead to a narrowing number of options really, one of which was flying to Houston on what would be this upcoming weekend to do 31 laps on a 2 mile paved course. In a cost analysis, I decided to not do the Houston race. So, in leiu of options, I decided to create my own race where the 100K was an available distance.
From this in mid-October, the Gorge Gambler was born.
The Gorge Gamble was to be an old-school event. No fancy shirts. No medals. No big red timing clock. You would get a start/finish time and a course. You'd record your own times. Since, my goal of the event was to be able to run a 100K myself, I wanted a time limit that would enable people to possibly run a 100K themselves. So I decided on 12 hours. But knowing my intention was about goals, I wanted to give people options to get 50K and 50M goals. This led to the format of the race being that everyone starts off running the 50K and once they reach the 50K distance, they can either stop or continue. At the point, 50M is reached, they are no longer in the 50K results. Same goes for up to 100K.
Because travel cost was a motivating factor of me creating the event, I decided to hold it in the Wissahickon Valley Park. Basically, this is my training ground. Now the park is a gorge. It has a gravel fire road (at one point in time an actual road of the times) called Forbidden Drive that cuts through along the length of the park with other trails in the upper reaches of the gorge. For a quicker course, I opted to create a 10K loop (ended up being 6.3 mile) utilizing much of the drive. However, I added a loop on the far end to mix up course allowing participants up onto one of the less technical (but still technical comparatively speaking) upper trails.
Once all this was set, including the date of December 9th, I opened registration where interested parties had to request invites for sign up. This was done to simple prevent a mass rush of entrants as I capped the field size to 40 people. My reason for the cap was to keep the event low-key and minimize our impact on the park's upper trails. In the end, 20 people signed up over the course of registration. With some withdrawls and no-shows, we ended up with 15 starters.
In the weeks leading up to the event, I still had my own training and racing. Between my last entry on October 11th and the Gorge Gambler, I had 5 runs, 4 of which were of the 5K distance. The other was the Bucks County Marathon, notable for mention here for winning it for the 4th straight year and in my second fastest time on that course. (Which is still 7 minutes slower than my CR.) Also, I had my yearly trek to Maine. Didn't get the usual dose of mountains but I expanding my routes and got to enjoy lots of sites. So DESPITE all the instability I was feeling on the whole, my sense of ability for my 100K was going well.
For the last week of lead-up, I spent it sending emails to registrants and getting together what I felt we should have as a basis for our single aid station. Namely, a folding table and digital clock for time recording. There was a little nervousness about the table as it arrived late but thankfully the bulk of the work was already set. Aside from race day, the biggest thing I needed to do was mark the loop section that used the technical trail. Since, we could be out after dark, I had some reflective strips as part of the markings. I kept the markings limited. Now, when I marked the section is the interesting part. My goal was to do it Friday morning on the 8th after 6am. Well, I ended up doing it at 3:30 am. Our TV decided to meet its death at 1am with a sparkling pop that tripped our main breaker. It made me unsettled to where I wasn't sleeping. So, I said might as well go marking. And I have to say, the moonlight was so strong, I didn't even need my headlamp. It was a gorgeous stroll in the woods at a time I really should not have been there.
Anyways, come race morning, I woke up briefly 4 hours early worried about the snow forecast. I hadn't considered an alternate course for safety. I decided worse case, I could take care of it last minute as pure out and backs on Forbidden Drive. Thankfully, at 6am, the snow had not started. Whew. I arrived at our starting location, 30 minutes before our 7am start. My timing here was not the greatest and it resulted in a delayed start by 15 minutes. Out of everything, I'd say this was the only error of the day as the RD. Eventually, at 7:15, I gave the official commands, started the official digital kitchen timer and off people went, myself included.
For the first loop, I ended up running with Josh Finger. Having him present really was good for me to run a balanced first 50K to possibly be under 4 hours but not insanely under to blow up. I'm not going to go into the details of every loop but I will say my biggest concern on the first loop was making sure the markings were still present. They were! Loop two was hoping nobody got off course. Seems like a win here as well! After 4 laps, I was on target for a sub 6 hour 50 mile! Yet, on lap 3, the snow started to fall. It was not an issue so much for my first 50K but my 6th lap began to slow enough to take me off of that sub 6. Still, lap 7 became the point where I was on par with a close to 8 hour 100K split. It was doable. Physically and mentally I was having up and downs. All to be expected. What I really did not expect was the slowness of the pace while maintaining consistent effort. My miles thanks to the snow where 45 seconds to 1 minute slower. I knew I would have to have a quick 8th lap knowing I would need to finish 50 miles in around 6:24 to be at 8 hour pace. Turns out I was off that mark at the end of lap 7, I just hadn't done the math well. It was just a little too slow of a split. With the continued snow slowing, I split 50 miles (50.4 actually) in 6:37:10 and called it a day.
The day was taking it's toll on others as well. Five people called it a day before 50K. And by the time I finished, only 3 other runners were still out there. One of them finished there day in the 50K only 7 minutes behind me. This left two people out there. One was Trishul Cherns and the other Jameson Kloeckner. Trishul was working on his 50K. Jameson decided he was having a blast and opted to do 50 miles. He would be the only other person to finish a distance greater than 50K at the Gorge Gambler.
At this point, the park was rather quite and empty. Rather magical because it is so beautiful in the snow. To stay away from the cold, changed out of my running clothes and spent some time in the truck. I was now getting to enjoy RD duties. I had to shoo some teens away from the results/aid table when one of them picked up the timer. (Which was adhered to the table by a magnet. While the table was not metal, I tapped a metal scraper to the table to the timer had something to stick to.)
Now, this is where I should say, I knew about half of the people participating in the Gorge Gambler. So, I believe that allows me to say this, it is only fitting that the two final people out there were those two whose spirits just radiate positivity.
Eventually, it all came to an end as Trishul finished his 50K and Jameson closed out the event with his 50 mile finish. For one of these two fine people, it was their first time in the Wissahickon. For the other, it is like home (maybe not the section of the park we used but still some familiarity.) To me this is part of what this event was about, sharing a place I love to those who may not have experienced it before and for those who have, provide something new.
Sure from a personal standpoint, not hitting 100K was a bit of a disappointment but I was either going to be near the time goal or not. Once I wasn't there was no need to go beyond 50 Mile. But in reality, the biggest victory, I personally had from the Gorge Gambler was the success of hosting an event.
Results have been posted to Ultrasignup.
However, let me take a moment to congratulate the male and female 50K champs: Nathan Spencer and Kristen Rosser.
Now, will the Gorge Gambler happen again in the future? Right now, yes. It is possible, I change the date but it will be back. Aside from the possible date change, everything else will stay the same. Well, maybe next time, I'll start it on time. Hopefully, a few more people will be able to come out.
With this, we seem to have reached the end of my year. My personal goals are taking a few weeks off. It's been some time since I have taken a large swath of time to recover. And the remaining time to the end of 2017 will be the largest non-injury rest in some time. Goal wise, I didn't hit any PR's but had some notable achievements. I managed to set an FKT. I ran 3000 miles in the year. Won the Bucks County Marathon for the 4th year in a row. Persevered through a horrible day at Twisted Branch. Went back to World's End. Won TGNY 100. I'll take it.
2018, I've already some plans to expand my horizons. Right now, racing in Scotland is going to be huge. And there is a certain ax I need to add to my collection. (No, it is not Eastern States. It's World's End 100K.) I'll aim for similar mileage. Tackle another 100M. The rest of it will fall in place.
I'd like to close this year out by thanking some really important people who made a dent one way or another.
Peg - For putting up with everything! Running, work, well....everything.
Pat McCloskey - You may not realize it but you're encouragement for me to run some races gives me that occasional push I need.
David Walker - You're just a no-name (he's in on the joke) who puts on bad-ass races. You also stepped up to offer emotional support. For that I will forever be grateful.
Rob Goyen - Honestly, you are one of the most inspiring people in my life. It may be silly but when I set up the Gorge Gambler, I thought about you encouraging people to achieve their goals.
Kat Bermudez - Just thank you. Everyone should have a friend like you.
And everyone else that has been a part of my life, I thank you all as well. Onwards and upwards.
(Shameless self-promotion: if anyone knows of any companies that you think would make a good sponsor fit, let me know. I might even be using their products already but never thought of approaching them.)
Still, many times, I managed to win the hard battle to get out of bed in the morning in order to go into the office or even out the door for miles. And when I say battle, I mean it. You've heard me talk of anxiety and stress in my postings before so it really should not come as a surprise. Let me say, mental health really makes a big deal in our lives as well as the events during our developmental years that shape the environment of that mental health.
While all of that is important, that is not my intended focus on this 'year-closing' entry, so allow me to change gears....
Going into 2017, one of my goals was to hit a sub 8 hour 100K. For a number of years, I have managed to hit at least one PR a year. Last year was an incredible 50 mile PR at Brazos Bend. So it seemed fair to target the 100K distance for 2018. Early in the year, I tried to go for it at Iron Horse in Florida where I DNF'd due to knee issues. I opted to hit the roads in CT at Lake Waramaug (only to have a series of events derail even getting to the race). (Twisted Branch happened but that was never a part of the 100K PR chase. Not on that course.) Next came plans for Bear Chase in Colorado in late September that due to financial circumstances, I opted to not do. This lead to a narrowing number of options really, one of which was flying to Houston on what would be this upcoming weekend to do 31 laps on a 2 mile paved course. In a cost analysis, I decided to not do the Houston race. So, in leiu of options, I decided to create my own race where the 100K was an available distance.
From this in mid-October, the Gorge Gambler was born.
The Gorge Gamble was to be an old-school event. No fancy shirts. No medals. No big red timing clock. You would get a start/finish time and a course. You'd record your own times. Since, my goal of the event was to be able to run a 100K myself, I wanted a time limit that would enable people to possibly run a 100K themselves. So I decided on 12 hours. But knowing my intention was about goals, I wanted to give people options to get 50K and 50M goals. This led to the format of the race being that everyone starts off running the 50K and once they reach the 50K distance, they can either stop or continue. At the point, 50M is reached, they are no longer in the 50K results. Same goes for up to 100K.
Because travel cost was a motivating factor of me creating the event, I decided to hold it in the Wissahickon Valley Park. Basically, this is my training ground. Now the park is a gorge. It has a gravel fire road (at one point in time an actual road of the times) called Forbidden Drive that cuts through along the length of the park with other trails in the upper reaches of the gorge. For a quicker course, I opted to create a 10K loop (ended up being 6.3 mile) utilizing much of the drive. However, I added a loop on the far end to mix up course allowing participants up onto one of the less technical (but still technical comparatively speaking) upper trails.
Once all this was set, including the date of December 9th, I opened registration where interested parties had to request invites for sign up. This was done to simple prevent a mass rush of entrants as I capped the field size to 40 people. My reason for the cap was to keep the event low-key and minimize our impact on the park's upper trails. In the end, 20 people signed up over the course of registration. With some withdrawls and no-shows, we ended up with 15 starters.
In the weeks leading up to the event, I still had my own training and racing. Between my last entry on October 11th and the Gorge Gambler, I had 5 runs, 4 of which were of the 5K distance. The other was the Bucks County Marathon, notable for mention here for winning it for the 4th straight year and in my second fastest time on that course. (Which is still 7 minutes slower than my CR.) Also, I had my yearly trek to Maine. Didn't get the usual dose of mountains but I expanding my routes and got to enjoy lots of sites. So DESPITE all the instability I was feeling on the whole, my sense of ability for my 100K was going well.
For the last week of lead-up, I spent it sending emails to registrants and getting together what I felt we should have as a basis for our single aid station. Namely, a folding table and digital clock for time recording. There was a little nervousness about the table as it arrived late but thankfully the bulk of the work was already set. Aside from race day, the biggest thing I needed to do was mark the loop section that used the technical trail. Since, we could be out after dark, I had some reflective strips as part of the markings. I kept the markings limited. Now, when I marked the section is the interesting part. My goal was to do it Friday morning on the 8th after 6am. Well, I ended up doing it at 3:30 am. Our TV decided to meet its death at 1am with a sparkling pop that tripped our main breaker. It made me unsettled to where I wasn't sleeping. So, I said might as well go marking. And I have to say, the moonlight was so strong, I didn't even need my headlamp. It was a gorgeous stroll in the woods at a time I really should not have been there.
Anyways, come race morning, I woke up briefly 4 hours early worried about the snow forecast. I hadn't considered an alternate course for safety. I decided worse case, I could take care of it last minute as pure out and backs on Forbidden Drive. Thankfully, at 6am, the snow had not started. Whew. I arrived at our starting location, 30 minutes before our 7am start. My timing here was not the greatest and it resulted in a delayed start by 15 minutes. Out of everything, I'd say this was the only error of the day as the RD. Eventually, at 7:15, I gave the official commands, started the official digital kitchen timer and off people went, myself included.
For the first loop, I ended up running with Josh Finger. Having him present really was good for me to run a balanced first 50K to possibly be under 4 hours but not insanely under to blow up. I'm not going to go into the details of every loop but I will say my biggest concern on the first loop was making sure the markings were still present. They were! Loop two was hoping nobody got off course. Seems like a win here as well! After 4 laps, I was on target for a sub 6 hour 50 mile! Yet, on lap 3, the snow started to fall. It was not an issue so much for my first 50K but my 6th lap began to slow enough to take me off of that sub 6. Still, lap 7 became the point where I was on par with a close to 8 hour 100K split. It was doable. Physically and mentally I was having up and downs. All to be expected. What I really did not expect was the slowness of the pace while maintaining consistent effort. My miles thanks to the snow where 45 seconds to 1 minute slower. I knew I would have to have a quick 8th lap knowing I would need to finish 50 miles in around 6:24 to be at 8 hour pace. Turns out I was off that mark at the end of lap 7, I just hadn't done the math well. It was just a little too slow of a split. With the continued snow slowing, I split 50 miles (50.4 actually) in 6:37:10 and called it a day.
The day was taking it's toll on others as well. Five people called it a day before 50K. And by the time I finished, only 3 other runners were still out there. One of them finished there day in the 50K only 7 minutes behind me. This left two people out there. One was Trishul Cherns and the other Jameson Kloeckner. Trishul was working on his 50K. Jameson decided he was having a blast and opted to do 50 miles. He would be the only other person to finish a distance greater than 50K at the Gorge Gambler.
At this point, the park was rather quite and empty. Rather magical because it is so beautiful in the snow. To stay away from the cold, changed out of my running clothes and spent some time in the truck. I was now getting to enjoy RD duties. I had to shoo some teens away from the results/aid table when one of them picked up the timer. (Which was adhered to the table by a magnet. While the table was not metal, I tapped a metal scraper to the table to the timer had something to stick to.)
Now, this is where I should say, I knew about half of the people participating in the Gorge Gambler. So, I believe that allows me to say this, it is only fitting that the two final people out there were those two whose spirits just radiate positivity.
Eventually, it all came to an end as Trishul finished his 50K and Jameson closed out the event with his 50 mile finish. For one of these two fine people, it was their first time in the Wissahickon. For the other, it is like home (maybe not the section of the park we used but still some familiarity.) To me this is part of what this event was about, sharing a place I love to those who may not have experienced it before and for those who have, provide something new.
Sure from a personal standpoint, not hitting 100K was a bit of a disappointment but I was either going to be near the time goal or not. Once I wasn't there was no need to go beyond 50 Mile. But in reality, the biggest victory, I personally had from the Gorge Gambler was the success of hosting an event.
Results have been posted to Ultrasignup.
However, let me take a moment to congratulate the male and female 50K champs: Nathan Spencer and Kristen Rosser.
Now, will the Gorge Gambler happen again in the future? Right now, yes. It is possible, I change the date but it will be back. Aside from the possible date change, everything else will stay the same. Well, maybe next time, I'll start it on time. Hopefully, a few more people will be able to come out.
With this, we seem to have reached the end of my year. My personal goals are taking a few weeks off. It's been some time since I have taken a large swath of time to recover. And the remaining time to the end of 2017 will be the largest non-injury rest in some time. Goal wise, I didn't hit any PR's but had some notable achievements. I managed to set an FKT. I ran 3000 miles in the year. Won the Bucks County Marathon for the 4th year in a row. Persevered through a horrible day at Twisted Branch. Went back to World's End. Won TGNY 100. I'll take it.
2018, I've already some plans to expand my horizons. Right now, racing in Scotland is going to be huge. And there is a certain ax I need to add to my collection. (No, it is not Eastern States. It's World's End 100K.) I'll aim for similar mileage. Tackle another 100M. The rest of it will fall in place.
I'd like to close this year out by thanking some really important people who made a dent one way or another.
Peg - For putting up with everything! Running, work, well....everything.
Pat McCloskey - You may not realize it but you're encouragement for me to run some races gives me that occasional push I need.
David Walker - You're just a no-name (he's in on the joke) who puts on bad-ass races. You also stepped up to offer emotional support. For that I will forever be grateful.
Rob Goyen - Honestly, you are one of the most inspiring people in my life. It may be silly but when I set up the Gorge Gambler, I thought about you encouraging people to achieve their goals.
Kat Bermudez - Just thank you. Everyone should have a friend like you.
And everyone else that has been a part of my life, I thank you all as well. Onwards and upwards.
(Shameless self-promotion: if anyone knows of any companies that you think would make a good sponsor fit, let me know. I might even be using their products already but never thought of approaching them.)
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Falling into Racing....
Does politics have a place in running? Well, in this case it does. I'm presently getting to write about running as I sit here listening to a lecture from an American Political Thought Since The Civil War.
(Ok, so I've just had to switch over to The Bronx (V) album since I was feeling a bit of writer's block. Too much deep thought.)
Anyways, so what has been going on since my last entry after Twisted Branch? Well, the short version is that I have done some ultra running mixed in with some shorter races.
Results:
- Run Germantown 5K - (1st) - 9/9
- Alternative Half Marathon - 1:13:59 (1st) - 9/10
- Boulder Field 50K - 3:55:10 (2nd) - 9/16
- Holy Child Academy 5K - 17:07 (1st) - 9/23
- Water Gap 50K - 3:30:21 (1st) - 9/30
- Tomm May 5M - 28:28 (1st) - 10/7
- Rest in Peace 5K - 16:44 (1st) - 10/7
While on the whole, those are not bad results, there are a few things that make it a bit rockier than they look. For the first race, Germantown, the course was a mess and not one runner in the whole event failed to run the proper course. With that as my first race after Twisted Branch that was not a great start to the fall racing season. Thankfully, the Alternative Half Marathon the following day was one of those spot on races. (Again, a Pat McCloskey RunBucks race to the confidence rescue!) My result at Boulder Field is the one that frustrated me probably the most as I wanted to win that race but I failed to get it all together. Now I will say that I was in 3rd for a lot of the race after trying to drop everyone without success for the first 11 miles when I dropped positions. I eventually clawed back to second with less than a mile to go. (That's the good there.) However, there are times I don't feel good about losing. This was one of those. (The negative here.)
Emotionally, I was on a roller coaster here. I was also unsettled about plans to go to Denver for a 100K race. (Finances and stress played huge roles.)
Luckily, I had the HCA 5K on my slate as that has been a race I've done well at before. And while I won it, my time was my second slowest on that course. It did not help that the timing clock was a minute faster. Since I do not wear a watch for 5Ks, I felt good seeing 16:07 which would have been my second fastest at this race. Except when I saw the online results at home (and confirmed), it was a kick in the pants to have been so slow.
Normally the fall is when everything fires on all cylinders....so to feel this out of whack was not good.
After some thought, I made the decision to scrap Denver and save the money. Thanks to Ian Golden & Red Newt Racing, I was provided the opportunity to do the WaterGap 50K , which here was slightly longer as a 32 mile point to point on the McDade Recreation Trail. I'll say this was my second best performance so far this fall. Rolling through entirely alone from go at 6:34 pace.
At this race, I tried two new things....new racing shorts and running band. Recently, for my road kit, I started running in BOA split shorts. I was losing some luster with my Puma shorts in my trail/ultra kit and during race week I got another pair of BOA split shorts that I would wear for the first time at this race. Also, I was going to be running with the Naked Running Band to hold my Nathan ExoDraw bottle. I had done some short runs testing this set up but this would be the first hardcore test. I wanted to be hands-free but not use the Nathan Peak this go round. Still, I kept the strap attached to the bottle in case it would bounce too much or flop out. Not even a worry! Plus, I was able to keep my ShotBlocs upfront in super easy access!
Originally, this past weekend, I was only going to do Rest in Peace since it is down the road from my house and I won some money last year. It is a 5pm start which is late (and this year the start time of our block party) so I could add another option if I desired. One popped up on the Wednesday. A 5 miler in NJ at a race that I last did when I last won the Atlantic City Half Marathon for the second time. Back then, they gave cash awards but this year it was 150 to RoadRunnerSports. That was enough incentive for me to drive the hour to double up. In the end, I'm slightly disappointed with my time but that is because while a certified course, the markers at 4 miles and the turnaround were wrong causing the course to be long. My immediate thoughts about my time was along the lines of being frustrated with my short distance performances. Having raced in the morning, I didn't expect to top last year's RIP 5K time. I thought I'd be in the 17's. Yet, I dipped under and actually tied my time from 2016. Out of my fall season this is the best direct gauge since it is the only race I have run each of the past two years. Hopefully, that will translate to the start of some more consistent performances.
In the upcoming weeks, I have a few short races that I've done before and in one instance I might double up.
Aside from that, I'd say there is a bit of uncertainty as to a fall A-race. There were a few times this past weekend, I was asked about what I have that is big coming up. Right now, while there are races, nothing that I would define as the big one. Primarily, I've been providing myself with some internal frustration about an inability to find a speedy 100K that I could go sub 8 hours by year's end that is not going to be too costly. I want to say Houston Running Festival would be the best candidate but spending for flights is not really the smartest decision. Then factor in race fees and a car rental.....it prices me out of my current comfort zone.
Rolling this goal into the early part of next year, which is something I would have considered in the past, sadly does not work for PTO reasons.
Rolling this goal into the early part of next year, which is something I would have considered in the past, sadly does not work for PTO reasons.
With roughly two and a half months left in the year, I feel fit and that is good as that will enable me to feel good about whatever options I do take to get in one more 'major' performance.
Maybe also, the weather here in Philadelphia will get a bit more consistently fall-like. I do feel that might have something to do with my thoughts towards my inconsistent performances. (HCA and Tomm May were also the two hottest races this fall.)
That's it for now folks. Not my finest of crafted artisan updates but a small sampler nonetheless.
See y'all out there....
Monday, August 21, 2017
Twisted Branch Trail Run - Lessons & Reflection
If there was ever a race that I kept asking, are we there yet, this is that race. I wanted the sensations of this self-imposed torture to be over.
62+ miles in and I am laying down just off the side of the trail trying to settle myself. There is less than a mile and a half to go and I'm at one of the worst places I have ever been in a race. I'd been dry-heaving for a spell at this point. My body was spent and broken. I'd been using a branch on and off again throughout as a 'nature's trekking pole'. Now I had two and I wasn't even climbing. Despite not having the race I planned, there was a shot at a respectable sub 13 hour finish and top 5 placing. There was an hour and eighteen minutes to cover a supposed 4.5 miles with a big climb coming out of the last aid station (58.2 mile). Yet, here I was now, taking 3-5 minute laydowns on the trail to move a couple of hundred feet before rinsing and repeating all because I could not stop the urge to dry-heave when moving upright.
How the heck did I wind up here like this?
To answer that question, we have to go back to last May. I had targeted World's End as a challenging 100K A-race but never made the starting line due to a bout of anxiety. Still wanting to challenge myself, I looked into the Twisted Branch Trail Run up in NY. It was the 100K distance I had missed out on at WE. And to boot it was sponsored by Montrail. I entered the race. Going in, I was fit and ready to go only to not make the starting line. While sleeping my truck, around 1am, I woke up with half my nose swollen. Opting to be medically cautious, I immediately drove home.
So this year around Feb, the race director, Scott Magee reached out to me to see if I was interested in participating in this year's race. My response amounted to something along the lines of HELL YEAH!!! This immediately became my summer A-race. I was excited to see what I could do on this course. Also, Twisted Branch fit in nicely with other plans leading up to the event except until they didn't.
Apparently, the time between February and August is a long time where anything can happen. Heck, the time between mid-June when I ran TGNY 100 and mid-August is a long time. It was within this span, that the seeds to me laying on the trail were borne. Except, I didn't really know it.
It was in this span that my life stresses severely spiked. Or at least the stress levels spiked for me. Another person might have reacted differently. Without bogging down in those details, three main things happened. Deck added onto the house (planned financial stress but still stressful for me nonetheless), important project at work thrust on me suddenly on the day I return from a mini-vacation and my company being acquired. Other stress points did too but I'd rather not write all day on what gives me stress. (You've probably already heard enough in the history of this blog.) I started to unravel. At one point, Peg mentioned to me that it didn't look like I was enjoying running. Let's face it, I wasn't enjoying much period. (And I'm confessing I was not my best self. I just didn't realize it. Just keep going.) With these stress points, I was spending a lot of time in the 'fight or flight' phase. It's incredibly taxing on the body and doesn't resolve itself quickly, even if you think you move past it.
Anyways, I was still looking forward to the race and felt confident that I was fit. Going in, I felt I could win and at worst top 3. Considering there was prize money this year, it gave me extra incentive to throw down. Of course, I had to get to the race site first. For this, it was going to require 5 hours of driving. Ugh. It could be I've done too many of these drives or just hate long trips in the car but it was the part of this I was looking forward to the least. With having to get up to Hammondsport for the shuttle to the start/camp on Friday night by 6pm, I opted to leave my house around 10am so I could read and relax a bit. Settle myself down from the drive it you will. After having to stop at three stores to pick up Shot Blocs (REI had them while the two cycling shops where I have gotten them in the past were out, in addition to another cycling shop and running store being out earlier in the week), I was on the PA Turnpike NE Extension on my way. After driving throw some scary rain with a gas refill and Arby's fry stop, I made it around 4pm where I relaxed in the back of the truck for a bit.
Eventually, I caught the shuttle out to the overnight camping at Ontario County Park. The location to camp was awesome. Arriving at 7pm to get my bib and catch an 8:15 race brief made it a tad later to settle in than I would like. Especially, since I had to set up a tent and have everything ready for a 3am wake-up, dress and repack for a 4am start. A little reading and Sudoku relaxed me until it was time to sleep. I slept well and woke up nervous but ready. I had decided to race with my Nathan VaporKrar pack with ExoShot bottles filled with Tailwind upfront. In the upper pockets, I had my ShotBlocs. I also had my Nathan Hipster on in the event the ShotBlocs bothered me where they were located. (Never ended up needing to transfer.) Shoe wise, I went with Montrail FKT's. I knew the course had various terrain and heard the stories of the course beating people up (Hello, 44% finishing rate.) and felt it would be the right shoe. I had considered going to LaSportiva Vertical K's but given the rolling of the course and the feeling the shoes a bit too tight for my liking in that moment of decision, I left them 'on the shelf'.
4am hit and we were off. A small group of us formed single file pretty quickly. It was a friendly talkative group and that made me happy. There was talk about shoes. The trail ahead. Rich Heffron and I did some chatting about Philadelphia. Around the first aid station, Jim Sweeney pulled away on a long road section. He was locked in. Rich and I gained on him as we were together, until we were no longer. My race all changed with a simple down tree. For whatever reason, I am not entirely sure, going over that tree spiked the sensation of anxiety. For me, I feel that in my chest/heart. From a couple of years ago when I was knowingly running with anxiety and dropping out of races, I knew it was not necessarily a level of my ability or being over/undertrained. However, I did not come up to Twisted Branch to DNF. Immediately, I went into manage mode. Mind you, I am not even 12.5 miles in to the beast. This was way too early but I figured I could recover. Keep running smooth. Keep the sensation down (which in the middle of the race, I referred to as my heart rate spiking.) What I really needed was to get into a rhythm. One big problem with that. This race does not allow for much rhythm if you are not on. It is the perfect opportunity to just be flailing endlessly. And to be honest, that is the way to describe my day. Decent patches mixed with horrible patches. If you look at my section splits, 4 sections, one of which is my last, were attrocious. Otherwise, it was not all that horrible of a race. But when those bad sections cause you to lose 20+ minutes to the top 3, you are in for it. I was in for it.
After the second aid station, Scotie Jacobs passed me. I just couldn't even muster any sense of keeping contact at that point. Then I got into a groove on a downhill only to miss a right turn. During my backtrack hike up the hill, I was passed falling into 5th. In fact, I was behind two other people making the turn as I picked back up the trail again so I was in 7th. Eventually, I moved back up into 5th and yo-yo'd with Seth Almekinder (now a 3-time race finisher) throughout much of the next few aid stations before pulling away some after The Patch AS around mile 35.6. At no point was I really enjoying much of anything. Normally, I feel like I'm taking in the scenery even if the day is rough. At Twisted Branch, I was so far into the suffer well, I was not even taking mental pictures for my memory bank to appreciate.
I kept adjusting my goals. Going in to the race, it was win. Then it was place third. (A sub 11 was also included in there.) Now it was make it under 12 hours. I told myself make it 40 miles in 8 hours and I have a shot maybe. Still I was thinking 14 hours was more realistic.
When I hobbled my way into Bud Valley at just before 40 miles, I got a surprise. Pat Heine, another member of the Pennsylvania trail/ultra runner community, asked if I wanted a pacer. Considering where I was, it was a most welcome offer. I said 'sure' and after downing some coke, we were off. Right off the bat, I pretty much laid out the landscape: my day sucked, looking likely at 14 hours and my pace is crap. Not to mention I was still continuing to have 'anxiety spikes'. When they got bad, I would sit on a log or rock to re-center myself. Somewhere in there I apologized for being slower than my normal self. Pat was a sport. He was originally crewing/pacing a friend of his who dropped out. Having Pat did give me a boost as evidenced by the third fastest segment time of the day to the next aid station. Mike Welden who say me at AS3, remarked I looked better when I reached AS 8 at Glenbrook. Of course, I followed that with a lousy segment that may or may not have been the one where I sat down at a cemetery in the middle of the course. What I do remember is having to sit on a log in a spot that Pat ran into people he knew. It was also in this segment that I laid down for a couple of minutes on the side of a gravel road stretch. For everything Bud Valley to Glenbrook was, this was almost the complete opposite. One thing that was decent feedback was, when I was moving, I moved well. Just I couldn't keep it consistent. Arriving at Lake David took forever. However, I managed to string two decent sections together. Pat told me when hit 6 min pace for a couple of segments.
At Mitchellsville, I sat down and got some coke on ice along with some great course info what lied ahead. A short 3 mile section and a 5 mile stretch. The 3 mile stretch was my favorite of the day (here is one of the rare mental images of the course, I have) despite going left when I should gone right again. This cost a minute or two. Still, as we neared the last aid station, the potential for a sub 13 was out there. I had an hour and twenty minutes to go 4.5 miles (gonna say it now....BS this stretch is longer.) I felt good and told Pat I was going to power up the climb that stood before us. And using one of nature's handy poles, I was. Then at some point, things went south. Bad. Mentally, the course broke me as I didn't know at what point the descent began. And then, physically, I wanted to dry-heave. Still we moved. Periodically, I was asking Pat how far we had gone (I don't race with a GPS watch) and pace. Both figures pointed to still a good shot at sub 13. We hit the little road section before the final switchback down on the Triad Trail. Or course, we hit the Triad Trail and it is not fully downhill and I'm done. I just shut down. I'd been stopping to dry-heave before we hit the road but now I needed to do that AND lay down on the trail. I was trying to search the landscape to see how close to the bottom we were but I couldn't find it. It just looked too far. With that, I broke. Seth ended up passing me with less than a mile to go. And then as I laid down what ended up being around 1/2 mile from the finish, two more people passed me dropping me to 8th. I was toasted. I was not using two branches to keep me up and moving. Not too fast or I would begin to dry-heave again. Eventually, the finish was in sight. And instead of running it in like a moment of glory, I walked with my branches accompanied by Pat over the line. The final section took me 1:58 minutes. For perspective, Seth finished 27 minutes ahead of me for 5th after being 13 minutes behind me coming out of the last aid station. I will say finishing by the lake is pretty cool and I think I would have appreciated it more on a different day.
Upon dragging my carcass over the line, I took off my pack and laid down. Scott, the RD, got me some ice to put under my neck. I can't remember who said it but I was told to also try to get some under my armpits for cooling me down. Not going to lie, it was pleasant just laying there. Whatever was going on around me really didn't matter. I didn't have to get up because at that point, I didn't have anywhere to go. My suffering was over.
Really have to thank Pat Heine immensely for offering to be a surprise pacer. Pat was the hero of the day. I really would not have been able to finish the way I did without him. Even with my needing to dry-heave, lay down, whatever, he did keep me moving. Mentioning how long I was down for at moments was an incredibly helpful nudge. He was a breath of fresh air and allowed me to not be in my own head for the 6 hours and 25 miles on the course together.
Also, want to thank Scott Magee for organizing such a well run event. Sure, some of the logistics for solo folks between the start/finish is hard, especially with a 4am start time, it appeared to have gone off without a hitch. Sorry, I couldn't put on a better show. Of course, I don't think that matters with the show Jim Sweeney put on in crushing the course record by 50 minutes! Thanks so much for having me.
Many many thanks to the volunteers. All of them were beyond incredible. They really made an impact in getting me to the finish.
Now, when I started this blog post, I included 'Lessons & Reflections' in the title. Much of what I have said tackles my reflections of the race as those in the moment points but not necessarily the real crux.
Trust me, this is going to be short.
That's it. Told you it would be short. Those really are the biggest takeaways worth noting.
Where do I go from here?
Originally, I planned on another 100K at the end of next month out in CO. It is flat and multi-loop. Considering still going out and doing a different distance. I'll take the next two weeks to see. A vacation in the woods is around the corner. Those always help so it would be foolish to completely write off the 100K but right now if I had to guess, it is likely a 50K if I make the trip.
Chances are getting in another 100 Mile in this year is probably too much for me. I need to cut some stress load and the logistic worry of planning for one might be completely counterproductive to the long term.
At this moment in time, I might just need a season of local 5K's. (Let's be clear this does not rule out any long races. I just probably should not be doing 1-2 drive a month of 3-5 hours.) Little travel and less time from a race perspective might be what I need. To circle back around to Peg's comment about looking like I'm not having fun, I need to get back to that fun. You could say there is more to life. I just don't always remember that with tunnel vision.
62+ miles in and I am laying down just off the side of the trail trying to settle myself. There is less than a mile and a half to go and I'm at one of the worst places I have ever been in a race. I'd been dry-heaving for a spell at this point. My body was spent and broken. I'd been using a branch on and off again throughout as a 'nature's trekking pole'. Now I had two and I wasn't even climbing. Despite not having the race I planned, there was a shot at a respectable sub 13 hour finish and top 5 placing. There was an hour and eighteen minutes to cover a supposed 4.5 miles with a big climb coming out of the last aid station (58.2 mile). Yet, here I was now, taking 3-5 minute laydowns on the trail to move a couple of hundred feet before rinsing and repeating all because I could not stop the urge to dry-heave when moving upright.
How the heck did I wind up here like this?
To answer that question, we have to go back to last May. I had targeted World's End as a challenging 100K A-race but never made the starting line due to a bout of anxiety. Still wanting to challenge myself, I looked into the Twisted Branch Trail Run up in NY. It was the 100K distance I had missed out on at WE. And to boot it was sponsored by Montrail. I entered the race. Going in, I was fit and ready to go only to not make the starting line. While sleeping my truck, around 1am, I woke up with half my nose swollen. Opting to be medically cautious, I immediately drove home.
So this year around Feb, the race director, Scott Magee reached out to me to see if I was interested in participating in this year's race. My response amounted to something along the lines of HELL YEAH!!! This immediately became my summer A-race. I was excited to see what I could do on this course. Also, Twisted Branch fit in nicely with other plans leading up to the event except until they didn't.
Apparently, the time between February and August is a long time where anything can happen. Heck, the time between mid-June when I ran TGNY 100 and mid-August is a long time. It was within this span, that the seeds to me laying on the trail were borne. Except, I didn't really know it.
It was in this span that my life stresses severely spiked. Or at least the stress levels spiked for me. Another person might have reacted differently. Without bogging down in those details, three main things happened. Deck added onto the house (planned financial stress but still stressful for me nonetheless), important project at work thrust on me suddenly on the day I return from a mini-vacation and my company being acquired. Other stress points did too but I'd rather not write all day on what gives me stress. (You've probably already heard enough in the history of this blog.) I started to unravel. At one point, Peg mentioned to me that it didn't look like I was enjoying running. Let's face it, I wasn't enjoying much period. (And I'm confessing I was not my best self. I just didn't realize it. Just keep going.) With these stress points, I was spending a lot of time in the 'fight or flight' phase. It's incredibly taxing on the body and doesn't resolve itself quickly, even if you think you move past it.
Anyways, I was still looking forward to the race and felt confident that I was fit. Going in, I felt I could win and at worst top 3. Considering there was prize money this year, it gave me extra incentive to throw down. Of course, I had to get to the race site first. For this, it was going to require 5 hours of driving. Ugh. It could be I've done too many of these drives or just hate long trips in the car but it was the part of this I was looking forward to the least. With having to get up to Hammondsport for the shuttle to the start/camp on Friday night by 6pm, I opted to leave my house around 10am so I could read and relax a bit. Settle myself down from the drive it you will. After having to stop at three stores to pick up Shot Blocs (REI had them while the two cycling shops where I have gotten them in the past were out, in addition to another cycling shop and running store being out earlier in the week), I was on the PA Turnpike NE Extension on my way. After driving throw some scary rain with a gas refill and Arby's fry stop, I made it around 4pm where I relaxed in the back of the truck for a bit.
Eventually, I caught the shuttle out to the overnight camping at Ontario County Park. The location to camp was awesome. Arriving at 7pm to get my bib and catch an 8:15 race brief made it a tad later to settle in than I would like. Especially, since I had to set up a tent and have everything ready for a 3am wake-up, dress and repack for a 4am start. A little reading and Sudoku relaxed me until it was time to sleep. I slept well and woke up nervous but ready. I had decided to race with my Nathan VaporKrar pack with ExoShot bottles filled with Tailwind upfront. In the upper pockets, I had my ShotBlocs. I also had my Nathan Hipster on in the event the ShotBlocs bothered me where they were located. (Never ended up needing to transfer.) Shoe wise, I went with Montrail FKT's. I knew the course had various terrain and heard the stories of the course beating people up (Hello, 44% finishing rate.) and felt it would be the right shoe. I had considered going to LaSportiva Vertical K's but given the rolling of the course and the feeling the shoes a bit too tight for my liking in that moment of decision, I left them 'on the shelf'.
4am hit and we were off. A small group of us formed single file pretty quickly. It was a friendly talkative group and that made me happy. There was talk about shoes. The trail ahead. Rich Heffron and I did some chatting about Philadelphia. Around the first aid station, Jim Sweeney pulled away on a long road section. He was locked in. Rich and I gained on him as we were together, until we were no longer. My race all changed with a simple down tree. For whatever reason, I am not entirely sure, going over that tree spiked the sensation of anxiety. For me, I feel that in my chest/heart. From a couple of years ago when I was knowingly running with anxiety and dropping out of races, I knew it was not necessarily a level of my ability or being over/undertrained. However, I did not come up to Twisted Branch to DNF. Immediately, I went into manage mode. Mind you, I am not even 12.5 miles in to the beast. This was way too early but I figured I could recover. Keep running smooth. Keep the sensation down (which in the middle of the race, I referred to as my heart rate spiking.) What I really needed was to get into a rhythm. One big problem with that. This race does not allow for much rhythm if you are not on. It is the perfect opportunity to just be flailing endlessly. And to be honest, that is the way to describe my day. Decent patches mixed with horrible patches. If you look at my section splits, 4 sections, one of which is my last, were attrocious. Otherwise, it was not all that horrible of a race. But when those bad sections cause you to lose 20+ minutes to the top 3, you are in for it. I was in for it.
After the second aid station, Scotie Jacobs passed me. I just couldn't even muster any sense of keeping contact at that point. Then I got into a groove on a downhill only to miss a right turn. During my backtrack hike up the hill, I was passed falling into 5th. In fact, I was behind two other people making the turn as I picked back up the trail again so I was in 7th. Eventually, I moved back up into 5th and yo-yo'd with Seth Almekinder (now a 3-time race finisher) throughout much of the next few aid stations before pulling away some after The Patch AS around mile 35.6. At no point was I really enjoying much of anything. Normally, I feel like I'm taking in the scenery even if the day is rough. At Twisted Branch, I was so far into the suffer well, I was not even taking mental pictures for my memory bank to appreciate.
I kept adjusting my goals. Going in to the race, it was win. Then it was place third. (A sub 11 was also included in there.) Now it was make it under 12 hours. I told myself make it 40 miles in 8 hours and I have a shot maybe. Still I was thinking 14 hours was more realistic.
When I hobbled my way into Bud Valley at just before 40 miles, I got a surprise. Pat Heine, another member of the Pennsylvania trail/ultra runner community, asked if I wanted a pacer. Considering where I was, it was a most welcome offer. I said 'sure' and after downing some coke, we were off. Right off the bat, I pretty much laid out the landscape: my day sucked, looking likely at 14 hours and my pace is crap. Not to mention I was still continuing to have 'anxiety spikes'. When they got bad, I would sit on a log or rock to re-center myself. Somewhere in there I apologized for being slower than my normal self. Pat was a sport. He was originally crewing/pacing a friend of his who dropped out. Having Pat did give me a boost as evidenced by the third fastest segment time of the day to the next aid station. Mike Welden who say me at AS3, remarked I looked better when I reached AS 8 at Glenbrook. Of course, I followed that with a lousy segment that may or may not have been the one where I sat down at a cemetery in the middle of the course. What I do remember is having to sit on a log in a spot that Pat ran into people he knew. It was also in this segment that I laid down for a couple of minutes on the side of a gravel road stretch. For everything Bud Valley to Glenbrook was, this was almost the complete opposite. One thing that was decent feedback was, when I was moving, I moved well. Just I couldn't keep it consistent. Arriving at Lake David took forever. However, I managed to string two decent sections together. Pat told me when hit 6 min pace for a couple of segments.
At Mitchellsville, I sat down and got some coke on ice along with some great course info what lied ahead. A short 3 mile section and a 5 mile stretch. The 3 mile stretch was my favorite of the day (here is one of the rare mental images of the course, I have) despite going left when I should gone right again. This cost a minute or two. Still, as we neared the last aid station, the potential for a sub 13 was out there. I had an hour and twenty minutes to go 4.5 miles (gonna say it now....BS this stretch is longer.) I felt good and told Pat I was going to power up the climb that stood before us. And using one of nature's handy poles, I was. Then at some point, things went south. Bad. Mentally, the course broke me as I didn't know at what point the descent began. And then, physically, I wanted to dry-heave. Still we moved. Periodically, I was asking Pat how far we had gone (I don't race with a GPS watch) and pace. Both figures pointed to still a good shot at sub 13. We hit the little road section before the final switchback down on the Triad Trail. Or course, we hit the Triad Trail and it is not fully downhill and I'm done. I just shut down. I'd been stopping to dry-heave before we hit the road but now I needed to do that AND lay down on the trail. I was trying to search the landscape to see how close to the bottom we were but I couldn't find it. It just looked too far. With that, I broke. Seth ended up passing me with less than a mile to go. And then as I laid down what ended up being around 1/2 mile from the finish, two more people passed me dropping me to 8th. I was toasted. I was not using two branches to keep me up and moving. Not too fast or I would begin to dry-heave again. Eventually, the finish was in sight. And instead of running it in like a moment of glory, I walked with my branches accompanied by Pat over the line. The final section took me 1:58 minutes. For perspective, Seth finished 27 minutes ahead of me for 5th after being 13 minutes behind me coming out of the last aid station. I will say finishing by the lake is pretty cool and I think I would have appreciated it more on a different day.
Upon dragging my carcass over the line, I took off my pack and laid down. Scott, the RD, got me some ice to put under my neck. I can't remember who said it but I was told to also try to get some under my armpits for cooling me down. Not going to lie, it was pleasant just laying there. Whatever was going on around me really didn't matter. I didn't have to get up because at that point, I didn't have anywhere to go. My suffering was over.
Really have to thank Pat Heine immensely for offering to be a surprise pacer. Pat was the hero of the day. I really would not have been able to finish the way I did without him. Even with my needing to dry-heave, lay down, whatever, he did keep me moving. Mentioning how long I was down for at moments was an incredibly helpful nudge. He was a breath of fresh air and allowed me to not be in my own head for the 6 hours and 25 miles on the course together.
Also, want to thank Scott Magee for organizing such a well run event. Sure, some of the logistics for solo folks between the start/finish is hard, especially with a 4am start time, it appeared to have gone off without a hitch. Sorry, I couldn't put on a better show. Of course, I don't think that matters with the show Jim Sweeney put on in crushing the course record by 50 minutes! Thanks so much for having me.
Many many thanks to the volunteers. All of them were beyond incredible. They really made an impact in getting me to the finish.
Now, when I started this blog post, I included 'Lessons & Reflections' in the title. Much of what I have said tackles my reflections of the race as those in the moment points but not necessarily the real crux.
Trust me, this is going to be short.
- Running after/with anxiety is hard. It might be a sign to scale back. This is one of those lessons I think I know but keep forgetting. Pushing through is counterproductive.
- Usually, on a bad day, historically, I've taken the DNF. I'm proud to have pushed through to finish. While not the redemption I wanted, it got me there unlike last year when I never saw the start. I adjusted as needed to throughout.
That's it. Told you it would be short. Those really are the biggest takeaways worth noting.
Where do I go from here?
Originally, I planned on another 100K at the end of next month out in CO. It is flat and multi-loop. Considering still going out and doing a different distance. I'll take the next two weeks to see. A vacation in the woods is around the corner. Those always help so it would be foolish to completely write off the 100K but right now if I had to guess, it is likely a 50K if I make the trip.
Chances are getting in another 100 Mile in this year is probably too much for me. I need to cut some stress load and the logistic worry of planning for one might be completely counterproductive to the long term.
At this moment in time, I might just need a season of local 5K's. (Let's be clear this does not rule out any long races. I just probably should not be doing 1-2 drive a month of 3-5 hours.) Little travel and less time from a race perspective might be what I need. To circle back around to Peg's comment about looking like I'm not having fun, I need to get back to that fun. You could say there is more to life. I just don't always remember that with tunnel vision.
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